Site Guidelines

Welcome!

It is important to have a safe community where all are welcome. Listed below are the guidelines for the chat rooms and forums. Thank you for helping to keep the site safe. We hope to see you in chat and in the forums soon!

Guiding Principles:

• Be Supportive - We want all who enter these rooms to feel safe and supported. Please remember that we are all survivors, each at a different point in our healing.
• Be Respectful - Gossiping about another person, name calling, or berating is not appropriate and it will not be tolerated. Mutual respect is required.
• Be Honest and Trustworthy - Trust can be a difficult issue for many survivors of abuse and other trauma. Be worthy of our members' trust.
• Respect Boundaries - Boundaries are very critical for most abuse survivors and essential to recovery. It is important that survivors learn how to set and enforce their own boundaries.
• Use Self-Care - It is important to take responsibility for yourself, recognize your own triggers, and develop healthy coping strategies.

Safety Rules:

Breaking any of the safety rules may lead to an immediate ban from all chat rooms and forums!

• The site admins are here to keep the site safe for everybody. Please listen to and follow their instructions. If you have any concerns please contact the site admins.
• You are responsible for all users in your household. Any user from a specific IP address will be held accountable for all users from that IP address.
• Don't give out your full name, address, phone number, or any identifiable information.
• Under no circumstances may any adult member of this site arrange an off-line meeting with any minor in our community.
• Chat Room 5 - Adults Only. You must be 18 years or older to use Chat Room 5. This room may contain discussions of a sexual nature.
• There is to be absolutely no cybersex or porn at this site.
• Do not use the word admin or host in your username. Do not claim to be a member of staff. Chat room admins will appear in blue letters in the user list.
• Do not come into the room under the influence of alcohol or drugs (illegal or legal).
• Only one account per user is permitted.
• Do not threaten suicide or self-injury. We are not equipped to deal with crises of this nature. Contact your local crisis hotline instead, call 1-800-SUICIDE, or check out helpful sites on the web. Talking about feelings and coping strategies is allowed, but threats of carrying out those actions are not permitted.

Courtesy Rules:

Breaking any of the following rules will lead to official warnings at our staff's discretion. Multiple warnings will lead to banning from chat and forums.

• Listen carefully to what others are saying before you draw conclusions.
• Spoilers (also known as softeners) are not required, but respect is required. Please click here for more information.
• Always ask in the room before sending a private chat box (p2p).
• Do not interrupt. Please wait your turn if another member is talking. Constant interruptions will result in a verbal warning.
• Profanity is allowed in rooms 2, 4 and 5. However, please use it sensitively and do not overuse it.
• Please refrain from using all CAPS. It can be viewed as shouting and is bad chat etiquette.
• Never log in to more than one of our chat rooms at the same time - be logged in only once, in one room.
• Refrain from jumping from room to room. Constantly room-hopping is disruptive to conversations.
• Try not to bombard new people with personal questions (including "A/S/L"). Be gentle, let them get comfortable. Remember your first time in chat/posting. Likewise, if you do not feel comfortable answering any question, say so.
• Learn how to use the "Ignore" function in the chat rooms. Taking control over who has access to you will aid in your recovery. On the user list, simply right click on the person's name and click on the "Ignore" option.
• Our site is only for survivors and their friends and family. Please, no requests for research information.

Religion and Politics Guidelines:

Subscribing to whatever you believe in is exactly that, it's what YOU believe in. What's right for one, may not be right for another. It's all a matter of choice. We are all survivors, who come from many different paths. Be respectful.

• We realize that religion can be very important in healing for many survivors. As such, you are free to reference your religious beliefs and their influence in your healing. We ask that you not mention religion when not pertaining to your healing.
• Please reserve religious discussions for the "Religious Beliefs" folder in the Community Forums. It is for all beliefs and views.
• Politics are a part of living in any society, but can be a source of hostility. Please help us avoid hostility and refrain from engaging in political discussions.
• Try to use statements like, "this is what I believe" rather than, "it is a fact" when putting forward your opinions.
• Examples of not following the guidelines:
• Being overly preaching. Telling people what they should believe.
• Not respecting someone's views and beliefs.
• Asserting that someone is wrong or incorrect when their beliefs differ from yours.
• If a situation arises where the topic becomes hostile or triggering, please exercise self-care.
• If you feel you have not been respected, or feel that someone has gone over the line, please feel free to email one of the admins so we may address it accordingly.

Passwords:

• After you register, there is a 30 day waiting period for Room 3 Little Play Room and Room 4 Tough Topics access. Room 4 has automatic access. You must contact a member of staff for Room 3 access.
• After you register, you must contact a member of staff for Room 5 Adults Only access.
• For more information please contact an admin.

Important Note About Admins:

• Admins are not counsellors. We're not perfect, we have good days and bad days just like everybody else. We're not therapists, we're just here to keep the site running smoothly and as safely as possible. This site should not be used as a replacement for seeking professional help.